Yeah, I do
by skakujou
Summary: Yaoi: Ryouga ponders about what he's feeling.


Jen Tai Yaung: Okay, with the first shounen-ai/yaoi fic that I have written, I have decided to improve and try to make it not like *boom*. Thanks for all of your reviews for Falling Rain, especially those two who pointed out my fic was way too short. Like I said before, "OMG, he/she's right! I can't believe that I posted it like that!"  I know it's still probably going to be fast anyways.

Somewhere in the back pages this has been done very similarly, and I hope I'm not taking ideas from that fic. I don't own Ranma1/2. If I did, then the show and manga would have never made it.

Yeah, I do

~

I sat in a tree, watching the sun rise. 

You know, it's real relaxing to watch the sun rise, as it paints colors across a dark sky, lightening the solemn mood the night sets. I do this a lot. A calm feeling flows through you, and for a moment you can forget all the troubles, all the worries in your life. It could keep even the most hyper of people quiet as they watch the phenomenon that happens every morning on Earth.

But once it rises, and the sun beats down on your worn and tired back, everything rushes back to you. A peaceful moment can never last forever. 

I closed my eyes. I know someone who could paint colors into my life. Better ones, anyway. The canvas is plain; black, brown, and green. Green fills up most of it.

The green is my depression. How I can never get home, how I can never understand, and him.

Him. 

He's always there, just right in my reach. But I can never take the chance. There's too much in the way. 

Whenever I see him, that is. I'm not always in Nermia. But I manage to stay in Japan, trying to get back. 

It doesn't help that he insults me about my sense of direction, and it pains me when he makes a joke out of it. I managed to catch his eye once, and I knew he was teasing. I don't know if it went any further, though. 

His eyes…you can't call them blue. They have a hint of grey in them. They're so captivating, you know? If he stares at you, and you look into their depths, those orbs seem to look into who you are. But they're so open; anyone can tell when he's lying. And he isn't a heck of a great one either.

He seems to not let it all get to him. It does. I know from my own experience. However, he is strong mental-wise. Any other man would have gone insane from the pressure and killed himself. He has honor that he holds over many things in his life, although he sometimes bends the rules a bit. If he wanted to take his life, it would be by seppuku.

Yeah, I know about that. I've heard him mention it once or twice; I'm not that deaf to the outside world.

Ever since that day, I've been hoping he won't have to.

I followed him from the lot that one day, chasing after him. Then and there I hated him on the spot. He'd run out on our fight. Then he knocked me into the Spring of Drowned Pig. I know right then I truly hated his guts.

After I came to Nermia, however, I started to change. At first I found him at Furinkan high, and later learned that he was staying with a girl named Akane. She was beautiful in my opinion. Not exactly innocent, but she could be at rare moments.

So I developed a small crush on her, and for the first few encounters with her my actions were true. Then I heard Ranma was her fiancé. As well along with Shampoo and Ukyo. My rating of him should have dropped. What kind of a man had three fiancés? But for some reason, my feelings changed. Sure, I was angry…and jealous? I got even more confused. It had to be Ranma's fault, I was sure of it.

So that's why I attacked him, but I always made up some odd excuse why, and I know I sounded pathetic.

Then I hung around more, and the more time I spent there I realized he didn't want the engagements. His eyes told it all, and I didn't have to look at his expression to know.

He was breaking from all of the chaos in his life. Me, the Tendos, his curse, his suitors, rivals, and more. Through the midst of it all, he held together and went on, meeting the challenges straight on and winning them all somehow. 

One night I realized I had feelings for him. I was outside his window, in a tree, waiting for the right moment to strike. As I kept watch on his movements, my eyes wandered. Maybe I was bored, or my eyes decided to be cruel at that moment. Starting with his face, I felt my neck heat up. 

For some reason, my breath caught in my chest. I think I actually stopped breathing right then.

They traveled over his well-toned chest, rising slowly as he breathed. You could tell that he clearly worked out through his white singlet. I think my eyes were trying to carve that image into my head. Then they traveled lower, across his abs and down to-

Realizing what I was doing, I resisted the urge to smack my head. I didn't want to give away my hiding spot. I left quickly before I did anything else.

After I had gotten safely away, I pondered over what I had done, and put two and two together. I know my face turned red that night, both in embarrassment and anger.

At first I was repulsed. Me, Ryouga Hibiki, love another man? And to make matters worse, it was my rival, my most hated enemy. 

I knew I shouldn't have felt that way. I'd seen Ranma in his night-wear plenty of times, so why should he have been different that night? I became more depressed with myself that way.

So I kept my act with Akane, hoping that I'd thought wrong. But my mind wouldn't leave me alone, and I kept thinking about that…

Of course, I kept this all to myself, and relieved my stress and confusion in the Shi Shi Hokodan. 

It kept bothering me, and finally one night I gave into it. But why him? 

Then I thought of all the times we fought. I remembered myself always skipping the slight holes in his defense and going for a guarded area.

I also admired his fluidity in battle, how he could just change from one situation to another without much problem.  

Outside of battle he was also a sight. He had the cutest face, or handsome, depending on the way you looked at him. It showed when he was flustered, or when he grinned that cocky smile. That pigtail added to the mix; it just made him seem complete.

So I admitted it. I had a crush on Ranma Saotome. I was still hoping it was a onetime thing, but it didn't go away.

It still hasn't.

~

-R&R

-I think I should stretch it out, don't you?

-Should I leave this hanging?

-Or explain more in another chapter?

-Or should I just quit because I suck at this?


End file.
